Confession: I don’t know how to knit

My grandmother was a great knitter, clothing the young Sassy in gorgeous jumpers and jackets, keeping my closets full even as I lost and outgrew her work.

I have long yearned to demonstrate the same retro-fabulous craftiness, knitting needles click-clacking away as I magicked yarn into jumpers, dresses, hats and scarves. Alas, I missed that boat when I declined knitting lessons in favour of running round outside (or some other nonsense juvenile activity that did not yield bespoke clothing).

After I fumbled a second stab at the knitting game in Brownies, I figured I was beyond redemption, and so for many years have been resigned to falling short in the yarn department. But that all changed when I heard about Stitch & Bitch.

Enter the Stitchettes

Stitch & Bitch is a knitting group – nay, a knitting posse – based in London and masterminded by some serious crafters who call themselves the Stitchettes. In their words, they are “taking over the city we love one stitch at a time, like a radioactive Godzilla with sticks and string.” I cannot wait to meet these people.

Stitch & Bitch meets weekly from 6pm at varying central London venues. Everyone is welcome, regardless of age, background or knitting ability; what’s more, membership in the group is totally free. Beginners, like your correspondent, are explicitly welcomed. That’s right – the Stitch & Bitch Stitchettes will teach me to knit, for free!

Submit to the knit (as they say)

I went to the Stitch & Bitch website and signed up for the group by providing my name and email address. Within minutes I received a membership activation email, which asked me to confirm my subscription to the Stitch & Bitch newsletter (this will tell me where and when the group meets).

Once I confirmed my subscription, I received a welcome email. I’m now on the mailing list, so all I need to do is wait for the next fortnightly S&B planning email to hit my inbox. But first…

I can’t just show up empty-handed!

It’s time to hit the shops – I need some knitting equipment. Beginners like yours truly are to bring two things to their first meeting: needles (apparently 5.5 to 7mm is the best size to learn on) and yarn (size DK, whatever that means, and in a bright colour so I can see my stitches).

I know I can just pop into a department store for these things, but I’m going to take this challenge on the OolaMoola way. I plan to hit up a few charity shops and take a look around on eBay to kick-start my crafty savings from the outset.

I’m getting excited about my knitting challenge. I know it’s going to be tricky, and certainly frustrating at first, but I think it’s going to be worth it. In some postfeminist way, I want to be the kind of woman who owns – and knows how to use – a pair of stilettos and a pair of knitting needles. Can I do it? Stay tuned…