Snacks, bubbly and very long sticks

Last weekend I had the opportunity to participate in a tournament-style event of that most exalted of British summer sports… croquet. Yes, croquet. And you know what? It was fantastic fun.

Two things this Moola is willing to bet you didn’t know about croquet:

1. That it is a sport, not a game (I asked two gentlemen from the Croquet Association and they were only too happy to make this abundantly clear).

2. That it is an absolute hoot.

The backstory

My friend E wanted to do something summery and quintessentially British for her birthday. She checked out the Fulham Palace website on the off chance of a fitting event, and there she learned that a catering company called Muddy Boots had once put on a croquet event. Intrigued, she contacted the caterers to see if they would do another… and amazingly, they were only too happy to organise a full-on croquet tournament.

The day begins

We arrived at Fulham Palace scarcely two weeks later, with picnic fare, £15 entry fee/person, and some fairly dialled-down expectations: what kind of sporting event could caterers organise in just two weeks, we wondered? Yet we were astounded to see that Muddy Boots, Jaques (croquet equipment suppliers since 1795, don’tcha know) and the Parsons Green Sports Club had put together a proper event, with kiosks, marked-out lawns and all sorts of equipment. The place was full of people, with players ranging from actual croquet types, to parents and kids sharing a day out.

The Fulham Palace grounds all set up for croquet

Once we paid our entries we were paired up into doubles, and given straw bowler hats, team numbers, and mallets.

Our croquet equipment was provided by Jaques

Preparations complete, we set up a picnic area, toasted the birthday girl and began the all-important business of trash-talking each other in advance of the opening round.

Snacks, bubbly and very long sticks

We played golf croquet, which is essentially a quicker version of association (or, ‘proper’) croquet. You play as a double, against one other double, and your play is monitored by an umpire-type character. Each game lasted between 30 and 45 minutes, but they actually flew by. The losers of this first round were relegated to Pimms duties, while the winners (like me!) advanced on to the next round (and the next, and the next!).

Your correspondent wins the quarter-final. Note the sore loser's superflexed handshake!

Between rounds there was plenty of time to stretch out in the sun, cheer on your friends (or plot their demise) and snack on all sorts of food, either the stuff we brought or that provided at Moola-approved low prices by the people at Muddy Boots.

Muddy Boots -- top caterers and wildly impressive event managers

The day ends

After the tournament wrapped (won by two members of our party, one of whom refused to play without a Pimms in hand; go figure), there was the prize-giving. Top prize was £300 worth of vouchers to spend on all manner of sporting and games equipment at Jacques. There was also a raffle, with prizes ranging from a huge bag of beef burgers and treats from Muddy Boots, to a posh badminton set (won by the birthday girl, E), to a huge cushioned sun-chair.

As soon as the prize-giving and thank-yous had wrapped up, there came a rumble of thunder and the skies opened up. Everyone scrambled for their straw bowlers and then it was a quick scurry home to talk up our wins (and drink more Pimms). E certainly got what she came for – it was an all-weather, perfectly civilised, quintessentially British summer day.

A perfectly-timed flash rainstorm

The verdict

It was a ridiculously good day out, and rather affordable, too. I spent £16.80 on champagne, picnic fare and Muddy Boots snacks, and then £15 on my entry into the tournament. All in, that’s £31.80.

Technical note: a huge commendation has to go to the people at Muddy Boots — they put on quite a show. If you want to take part in a croquet event like this one, contact Muddy Boots. MD Miranda told me they are not planning to do another tournament this summer, but if you’re looking at next summer, and/or another catered event, see what they can do.